Slaughtered Dreams: Muted Destiny
by Rhiannon Uerch Llewelyn
Summary: A dream of haunting darkness unlike all others, a prompting that could not be ignored and a choice that had to be made.


This very disconcerting fic was birthed from the release of the book _Star By Star_, when Anakin Solo is killed. He conceives of a plan to destroy the Voxyn, a suicidal plan that seemingly comes from nothing. What prompted him to follow his plan? What prompted him to create it in the first place?

To that I give my answer: To give life, we must choose to take our own. To save others, we must relinquish ourselves.

Anakin made his choice. He lived by it, and he died by it. But he made it…

This is a dream. It is not pleasant to read and it was not meant to be so. It messes with your head; if you don't like that, don't read it. For this is not pretty.

Think deeply, for that is what he did.

I own nothing, if I did than a valid reason or prompting, rather like this dream, would have been given to back up Anakin's suicidal plan. There wasn't, so there you have it!

This fic is unedited/beta-d!

(#) On both sides of #darkness# are there to represent actual darkness of night black. Like one dream fading into another, like day bleeding into night, etc.

(#) On both sides of #Stillness#Silence# are there to represent an actual dead still/silent room or space in/of time.

The lot is kinda like stage directions.

That said, enjoy!

_Muted Destiny… _

Shrouded in darkness, devoid of light  
Surrounded by nothingness.  
Without shape or definition, without texture.  
A void, an emptiness

Nothingness

But there is a scent… a scent of death, inescapable and sick

There is an aura, a feeling: of fear, of terror. A darkening of the Force: dimming of the Light, the snuffing of Jedi, one by one.

Desolation—Loss  
Emptiness

#Darkness#

* * *

Soft light, so gentle and quiet  
Warmth and comfort  
Absolute peace.  
A gentle scent, of wild roses  
Cool sheets, soft and surrounding  
Gentle breathing, soothing rhythm

Serenity  
Peace

#Darkness#

* * *

Chaos  
Carnage  
Blood

So much blood, staining so many hands  
So much betrayal  
So much sacrifice

#Stillness#Silence#

Who am I?  
What is my purpose, my reason for existence?  
What is this power in me?  
Why does it touch so many?  
Whatever I do, or don't do, affects others  
Why am I so important?  
Why do people look up to me?  
Why am I so powerful?  
Why am I who I am?

#Stillness#Silence#

I am Anakin Solo  
I am Jedi  
I am warrior and defender I am servant and guardian  
I am… the Force

#Darkness#

* * *

Dawn vigil  
Peaceful watch

Beautiful golden blonde hair, so caressingly soft, so rich and thick; curly and short, like a halo, framing a young face with three squiggly scars on the forehead

So gentle at rest, yet so full of life

Eyes of forests: mysterious, untouched. Smoldering emeralds, gaze of innocent desire, with only shyness in their depths. No fear or pain

Absolute trust  
Total love and faith  
Balance in the Force  
So still, yet free

#Darkness#

* * *

Destruction  
Shadow of darkness  
The end of everything I ever knew

So many worlds lost or destroyed. So many refugees, broken families and shattered lives. So many people

#Stillness#Silence#

Hunters of the Force…Hunters of the Jedi

Voxyn

Nowhere to hide: useless to run. They hunt us. All of us

A creature of darkness shaped by the Yuuzhan Vong but not made by them. For they can be sensed in the Force, they are from our own galaxy

They were—one of us

Now they hunt us. Wherever we are, whoever we are. Doesn't matter what species, what gender, what age or ability or intention. Doesn't even matter if they are unaware they are Force sensitive. Any connection to the Force is a target. A mark for death and elimination

Nowhere is safe  
Nowhere…

#Darkness#

* * *

Stillness…  
Silence…

Through the stateroom windows—stars  
Gentle breathing, soothing rhythm  
Bed of warmth and comfort

Cool sheets mussed around us, covering half of us and keeping us just warm enough

Me, I can't sleep—I don't really want to when I can watch over Tahiri, sleeping so peaceful and still, as she so seldom is. When awake anyway.

The sheets just drape her hips; leaving her upper body bare, save for the shadows cast by her folded arms as her hands rest by her face, as if in prayer. Her hair is spread like a golden cloud on her pillow, catching hold of any light shed through the transparisteel window, and reflecting it back in a gentle shimmer. It's so beautiful to touch, flowing through my fingers like shimmersilk. It's a tender caress, unsure and innocent, unknowing yet wanting. It's so soothing and peaceful, like we're the only things alive in the galaxy, and everything is as it should be

Her breathing remains even and gentle. She smiles slightly in her sleep and shifts closer to me, her long legs stretched out comfortably, knees slightly bent so she doesn't roll onto her stomach. Our feet lightly touching, connecting us

I love her

I don't really know when I began to, or even when I fully realized it. It just seems like I always did. She's always there for me, with me, even when I push her away. She knows me better than anyone…better than I know myself. She isn't impressed by my family's fame or that mom was once Chief of State and pretty much running the galaxy.

Mostly anyways

She isn't affected by the fact that uncle Luke is the Jedi Master and also my Master.

She's not afraid of me

To her I'm not the very powerful Anakin Solo, apprentice of Luke Skywalker and possible follower in his footsteps. I'm just me. Anakin Solo, Tahiri Veila's cocky and, yeah, smart ass best friend who also likes to irritate her whenever I get the chance. She doesn't see me as perfect and doesn't treat me like I was either. To her, I'm a person, ordinary and nothing special… Just her best friend

Though she knows me so well, I don't know all of her. I guess because I was wrapped up in all my problems and myself, I didn't open myself up to Tahiri as I guess I should have. Basically I put up barriers around myself that prevented me from totally connecting with her. Maybe I was afraid of getting hurt again. I don't know… Life is strange.

I never realized how we always were together. I mean, not that she was my shadow for so many years, but that we fit together, we balance each other. Together we are more than we are separate. We are one…in the Force. Just like Master Ikrit said.

Always

#Darkness#

* * *

Darkness  
Stillness  
Silence  
Emptiness  
Nothingness

Where is everyone?  
Anyone?  
Answer me! ANSWER ME!

Where are you?  
What happened?  
Why am I alone!

Mom? Dad? — Jaina? — Jacen? Tahiri? Where are you? All of you!

#Stillness#Silence#

The darkness, it's getting lighter. It's—turning red

I'm… at the Temple, on Coruscant

It's—Shattered…Broken

Ruined  
Destroyed—forever

The horizon is dark. Black

I stand alone among these walls and I see… I don't know

Darkness… shadows…red  
A sea of red  
A sea of blood  
Not just blood: shapes…silhouettes…limbs…bodies  
Remains

People… So many people  
I stand, alone in this place. Alive…alone

#Stillness#Silence#

I stand on a pinnacle, a fractured pillar of the Jedi Temple. So high off the ground, I can see so far. Everywhere I look is bathed in blood. Everything is abandoned. Nothing moves… Nothing

Coruscant looks so different, so flat. All the buildings are broken down, all the skyhooks crashed. There is no glitter to hide this slaughter, no mask to hide this face

There is no sound, nothing. Only emptiness, stillness and silence

The horizon lightens, flowing slowly from darkness into light. Crimson light that burns and sears, slowly destroying all it touches and crumbling it to dust. It's no longer an empty horizon; shadows move and crawl around the dead and the buildings. Vong or human, I don't know. I don't reach out with the Force to check, I don't want to.

Why, I don't know

* * *

I feel nothing. I feel—empty

Not really—alive

I don't feel anything, not even from the Force, it's like I'm dead inside. Nothing touches me. I see nothing. I feel nothing. I am—nothing

#Stillness# Silence#

Darkness… Shadows…

Around me shadows drift, in and out of the darkness. Not Vong or human. Reptilian.Voxyn. Hungry in the Force, voracious, insatiable

Along with the Vong, they caused this. Hunting down those of the Force, and killing them. Tearing them apart, one by one

I feel something—faint, a whisper, a moan, pain, torment, and loss. Emptiness. It feels familiar, I've felt this before, once, so long ago, from someone—close to me

My father, after Chewie died

He'd lost his best friend, his partner, one who knew him for so long and who he loved like a brother. The loss crippled him, he lost a part of himself, forever

But he survived

What I feel know is from my father, but it's not. His Force presence is different. He feels different, not himself, he feels weak, like he's broken, like he's dying

#Stillness#Silence#

I stand here, on a fallen pillar of the Jedi Temple.

The only life I feel is from my father. I need to find him, to reach him, but—I don't know

I stand here, on a fallen pillar of the Jedi Temple… So high off the ground, I can see so far

I am Anakin Solo  
I am… the Force…

I see my father. He kneels alone in a sea of red, only shattered life around him. He is in shadows, in darkness; he is oblivious to me as I stand near him. He is oblivious to everything around him

Everything

I don't know why

He feels weak, like he's broken, like he's dying. He sees nothing, he hears nothing; he feels—nothing.

He is oblivious to everything but what he cradles in his hands. From them ripples warm dark brown shimmersilk, cloaking his arms, his thighs and pooling around him like blood. On his face is emptiness, desolation. His eyes are blank, seeing nothing. Withdrawn and empty, filled with darkness and shadows Shattered

He has lost his balance, his anchor, the other half of his soul

#Stillness#Silence#

Mom?  
Dad?  
What happened?  
Why—did you die?  
I am… alone

#Stillness#Silence#

#Darkness#

* * *

Infinite peace  
Innocence  
Unity  
Balance in the Force

It's so warm, but we're naked  
The room isn't lighted, the only light is the stars  
We don't need light

Uuuuhhhhhh...  
Huhhh… huhhh… huhhh…  
Uuuhhhhhh…

You are—my everything

My warmth…  
My peace  
My light

My—everything

Oooooooohhhhhhhhh… Tahiri  
Uuuuhhhhhhh…  
Huhhh… huhhh… huhhh…  
…Tahhiriiii!

#Darkness#

* * *

I see—curly skeins of gold, familiar and beloved: not too long, and not too short. A face: young, unlined but scarred; vivacious, withdrawn and haunted. Innocence dipped in shadows, a life but half lived.

She lies here as if asleep, her limbs arranged in restful slumber… her face a rictus of agony. All that she was, smashed. All that she could be, snuffed out.

Around her is a drifting darkness, slinking beings with no purpose but to kill our kind. They wait, patient, for the morsel to be alone, unguarded… they wait to rend her flesh and erase her existence from the worlds of time.

I do not exist. I am a waking dream. I can do nothing, as I am nothing, for nothing can be done.

They close in and fulfill their destiny as everything crumbles into dust—but her face staring at me as in a dream, eyes open and an ashen green, vacant, aware and condemning me with her soul wrapped in torment in their forbidden depths.

I have done nothing.

Nothing…

Nothing

#Darkness#

(A voice, neither male nor female, neither loud nor soft)

"Anakin –choose… and act."

A breath of wind whispers by my face and I am blind. I must make a choice and live by it… or die.

* * *

WHOA! Bloody hell that was hard to write! It was originally going to be something else, as 90 of it was written roughly a year ago, but my thoughts changed & it turned into this. Dear god the first person breathing sex scene was difficult & I still don't quite know if it worked. Did it? Oh well… Yes, this is a Tahiri/Anakin fic, even though I'm WAY fonder of my other pairing.

Do send me your comments, thoughts and suggestions. Everything helps us authors better our writing.

snicker

(I love doing this…)


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